Unfinished

Lovers engulfed in the depth of their kiss. The music seems to fade away and the world dissolves to exist except for between their throbbing hearts and the warmth of their embrace. She dances as light as a feather, together with him in perfect unison.

Mar 2020

Haqueeqat

 Saath chuuta toh zindagi ka safar Tay kar liya

Khwab toota toh haqeeqat ka safar Tay kar liya

Tum joh be ehsas huye Humse is qadar

Saans thami toh maut ka safar Tay kar liya

Only if….

 Restless days, empty nights

Moments slipping , heart yearning 

Can’t run , can’t abandon, can’t leave the fort

Wish I had your hand to hold 

To squeeze tight, when heart could take no more

A soothing word from you would mean

A balm on my aching soul

Those eyes to gaze into 

And world would stop still

That body to cuddle into

And feel like a cherished child

I could pour out my words and tears

On you,my comfort person

No questions, no judging, no rationale to give into

Just be myself for a few breaths

Raw, naked and bare to see through 

If only you were here my companion

The days could have been easier

And nights a little more warmer

Sufferings would gnaw slower

Gashes might heal faster

If only you were here…

Dillema

 I took the pill

Beyond my will

N broken heart

I let you apart

I cut the flow

And bled you slow

Until you were gone

Emptiness, here and beyond

I wish this was a dream and I am awake

All this is gone coz no more can I take

Lock down 2020

Of all the things I had anticipated to experience in my lifetime, I never had imagined this! Right out of a thriller zombie movie or a science fiction disaster film, scenes have started to play out in real life.

It’s 2020. And when we should already be inhabiting other planets or making a groundbreaking invention of some kind, we are all crammed inside our houses, meticulously planning and executing a survival plan to endure a lockdown ( I never really had experienced the practical impact of this word) which God only knows will continue for how long.

We all must be tackling this lockdown in our own personal ways, the way we are shaped as individuals. While the extroverts would be yearning to return to their social lives, to their hangout buddies; the introverts would be enjoying the solitude. Craving for likeable company, the gregarious ones would be now making the most of the virtual video conferencing tools and trying to keep away the blues. Personally, for someone like me, who is midway being a socializer and a contemplator, this period is a liberation from some of those mundane chores which gives me time to connect with my deeper self. There’s always something good when you go deep.

Life has been rushing by. There is no time to stand and stare, at things we once loved, we held close, we had passion for. Maybe now is a good time to go back to all that before the mayhem resumes. Let’s have those long conversations about nothing and everything. Let’s say hello to that friend who meant the world to you a long time ago. Let’s snuggle up to those memories when you felt the most alive. Let’s prioritize what matters the most and let’s do things which brings inner peace, which re-energizes you.  

We have a demon outside our houses that we all are fighting against. There is no superhero this time. We ourselves must don that superman outfit while we go fetch food from the store. Afterall we can try to leave behind some gallant tales (not as heroic as our forefathers!) as how this crisis brought humanity closer. This war must be won at all costs!

So be good, do good, say your prayers with more humility. Of all the bad happening before this deadly outbreak, I can just hope something good will come out of this time too.

See(meet) you soon !

Happy Birthday Arfan!!!

It's a year, but you are not here
We have missed you and we have yearned
But you sure are at a better place now
The love of God that you have earned

Up in the heavens,today there are celebrations
For He must be enjoying your company
Our small little bundle of love,keep smiling
Prayers for you are many

Toys and gifts and cakes you wish
May it be there,when you please
And fairies to sing songs to you 
Dance for you with the breeze

May the soft clouds lift you high
And take you around for a fun tour
Your laughs and giggles would lit up the heavens
For they are so gentle and pure

All day along until eternity,let there be fun
Keep smiling my Angel child, my love
Our dearest Prince, our firstborn
Keep shining from the heavens above

Ek Mulaaqat

Woh aaye hain aaj khwaboun main mere
Khauf hai kahin yeh bhikhar na jaaye...
Aarzoun ko aaj khoob tasalli mili hai
Yeh lamhaa itni jaldi guzar na jaaye..

Abtarii sa haal hai khayaloun ka mere
Tum aaye ho toh kuch inki taabiir ho jaaye...
Do char baatein keh dena mohabbat bhari
Beete dinoun ka aalam mukarrar ho jaaye...

Ek katra aansoun ka beh gaya aakhoun se mere
Dekho woh kahin rooth na jaayein...
Muskura leti houn zara sa main
Haalaat mere be-pardah na ho jaaye...

Vasl ki ummeed liye baithe hain hum
Intezaar main yunhi zamaana guzar na jaaye...
Uzr na banana jaane ka tum koi
Furqat main yeh dil tabaah na ho jaaye...

Jashn-e-ishq mana lene do aaj
Yeh jannat sa mahool kahin kho na jaaye....
Ranj-o-gam main lautna to laazim hai dost
Is raat ki phir koi subaah na ho jaaye...

God and His ways!

Just when everything would seem alright and wrongs,right,God will shuffle the cards yet again and would smile down upon you and say "Begin again,my child!"

When I was a little girl,I remember crying for a beautiful frilly frock for quite sometime.I even went to the extent of managing a cardboard cut-out of a girl in a shimmering red frock and stuck it to my cupboard door.Everynight before bedtime, a special prayer was offered by me to God and these were my last words before I ended my supplication : "Tomorrow when I wake up,please let me find a similar frock in my cupboard".God obviously didn't 'gift' me that frock,but yes,he gifted me with much more! And I am thankful to Him for that.These were those small things which I have cared to leave unnoticed everytime; a beautiful family,valuable and rare people,unforgettable friends and many more things in life! However let me tell you.Along with these gifts comes a 'operational manual'.Now there are a set of rules and a way to operate these.You learn them and they would work perfectly,just as the way God has designed them to be.You bend the rules to fit your needs or try and customize them for your comfort or even worse- put in your own set of rules and BANG it blows off!!

I am no exception in trying these customization on my box of goodies and realised that in the process I had lost some of those gifts.Some still survive with either loosened bonds or are existing just for the name .However some are still as fresh as they were on day 1.

I even tried getting angry on God and had my 'sessions' with Him ,trying to negotiate and make Him understand my perspective and why I wanted to modify His gift a little to suit me and my needs better and that's how I wanted it,but the Boss never listens!

I finally said,"You set things right,as I want them and make me Happy and I'll return to you".Few days later a box got delivered at my doorstep.It read,"For you my child",Sender:God.

I opened the box and found 'Happiness' inside it.And as expected the operating manual lay besides my gift.There was a small note on the manual too..."This time do not bend the rules"

Soulful

Where the horizons meet, where soulful skies bow down upon the sea...
Take me there with you, because I want to go with thee
Let your eyes hold me close, let your arms comfort me
Let your voice be my music, until I hear no more…

Tomorrow has to nothing to offer, not a single smile…
The dark face of future is not what I want to see
Embrace me tight and take me far,
Let all roads today lead me to the dead tomorrow.

Slowly let all the leaves of memory fall, let all desires dissolve into water
Let the wind blow away the hopes of happiness
Come slow, come sure, come death
For am waiting for the only truth…and that is you!

That November Night....

the november cold was at its peak,

and silent lay the night

he held me close as we waited for the bus

my hands embraced him under his jacket

as i warmed my frosty nose

rubbing against his strong chest...

his smell was all i wanted to breathe

his warmth was all i wanted to feel..

he kissed me lightly on my head

and gently caressed my back

i still feel the way i felt him

standing up so close and tight

our souls merged as the warmth flew

between our entwined bodies

and up i looked from below his chin

looked up to my world,my love

and i still remember the look in his eyes

which wanted me to stay...

the bus came roaring,pulling us out of our remanence

and sadly i parted away from him,his warmth

that had protected me long...

and soon the chilly weather bit me

as i waved him goodbye

i cherish that moment and remember that night

each time I feel the cold again

forever it will warm my memories

our love on that cold november night....